This will be a place that I post ideas. Maybe more will come of them, who knows.

Someone brings me a newspaper every morning, but instead of news, its all the funny things they've screen shotted off of insta, facebook, twitter, etc. This way I can stay in the loop with what people find funny these days.

Gavel at the barista station: *smacking the gavel* ORDER! ORDER! Order Up !

I wonder when I die if my ghost will be a boy or a girl?

I should start ending pickup lines by giving them my email.

Dessert doesn't have to have chocolate. Example: Fruit

T-shirt idea: Wash the Dish that Feeds you (i'm a dishwasher with no employee uniform)

One more t-shirt idea: I Freaking Love Money

Your VIP tickets being essentially useless because theres a fire in the venue, and now everyone is allowed backstage.

"Oh yeah, don't worry. He's busy." Says the basest. Pan to the drummer playing a beat so slow and mundane, that he's also doing work on his computer.

In the country, we all farm. -This said like "in the club, we all fam" but southern accent.